Mission: Whambulance alert and Super mans decent.

I feel doubt these days, I am a kayaker through and through but like when I was young, at some point I realized that Super Man could fly, and I can’t.   It’s a tough bit of learning.  I clearly remember my last hope as I launched myself triumphantly off the garage.   My first thought, Oh gawd, my second thought,  “please let the dog walk under me right now”.  Each of us at some point will reach this stage I think, my first was on the ground at the garage door trying to breath and cry all at the same time.  Some people won’t get to this stage, but more than likely they will in my opinion I think.  It seems that the longer it takes for someone to find this place the harder he or she will hit the ground. 

I am lying in bed whining about how much I suck at math to my wife when I realized something.  Ok, so you’re a math moron no doubt.  But whining to your wife makes it way worse.  Then, “what would you have done if this was a kayaking trick”, my wife busts out on me.  I have learned in life that the biggest most painful thing your wife can do, it’s to lay out a piece of your advice, the same one that you dole out to others.  It would be better if she would just come out and say.  “Yo, hypocrite.  Suck it up sally and quit your whining.”  I almost hear myself with the, “but, but, but,” but I decide not to go on. 

I failed at school; a lot, math is just not something I am good at.  My brothers are both brilliant in that area.  My dad is some kind of genius; my mother is as sharp as a tack, and more than willing to use it, when you are being a smart ass to her.  Lucky me, I got the athletic gene.  The problem is the mind is willing but the body is, struggling.  When you go from being the best at something to the worst at something, or in my case a kayaker to math moron, it’s an even harder hill to climb.  So I get presented with a problem I have solved for many others but have not solved for myself.  I call it the, “Try Until Method”.  It goes like this.

Baby learning to walk gets put on his or her little fat feet and off he or she goes to do what, fall.  Baby doesn’t know how to be a douche bag to baby, so silently goes on after a good cry to try again.  Mom is silent about the mater; picking you back up to, try again.  We know this method works.  It’s why so many people walk; and every mother teaches us how to learn how to walk using the same method.  But only when we get older we decide to be a jerk to baby and that’s where this bit of whining starts.  I suck at math, but I will get better.

So time to dust off baby, pocket the thumb sucking, and get back to the business of learning grade 6 math and try again.

BIlly