Mission: Swamp Donkey Festival, wedding, liquid revenge and deer.

MISSION:

Swamp Donkey Festival, wedding, liquid revenge and deer.

Rockin out in the Large Villian.  

It’s Sunday and I am still feeling friday night’s gong show. My thoughts are on a fallen friend right now, who didn’t make it this year.  Benny Aylsworth, he’s not dead to me cause he’s got an excuse.  However it was pretty lame, (helping his dad, what a jerk) and he’s on life support in my books, but he was missed this year…. 

I lean outside to check on the boats as the monsters in the very full room wake up from tucked away locations around the room.  Our room smells like Puke, wet poly-pro and Matt’s noisy butt.  I lean back to see of our boats are still outside, my little red Jackson Rig still there, amazing really.  Cale Reeder filled our room with silly string, so we retaliated by breaking and entering into an open room.   While they were away we did all kinds of evil in their room but nothing too harmful.  We were waiting for the retaliation to the retaliation when we decided to visit last night.  I will never get that particular two hours back but we managed to loose a room phone, the hotel owners are not at all in good humor about.   We got back to the other room and they were coaxing a deer into the next door neighbors room, looking to trap it in there for the night or until she got back and generally doing stupid things.  Last time I saw them they were riding a cooler down a hill and had a standing bet of 1000 dollars to anyone that could get a LEVEL SIX dry top on the deer. I am ashamed to admit it but I actually gave it some serious thought, (my wife was not there)  I personally had one nibbling on my sox, ya, my sox yesterday so doing the deed to the deer would not have been too hard...  Explaining it to my wife would equal divorce, and rightfully so.  They are very tame around here and I have now lost all respect for the deer hunting shows on TV.  The deer down here are stupid, shooting one down here is a piece of cake, heck hunting them in town with a spear and a pair of fussy underwear as camouflage would work.   

On the river was amazing, there was a river wedding at Fowlers-ville Falls, the whole wedding party auto-boofing into pool at the same time wearing comber buns and the sunshine actually came out for the event.  As usual the Bride looked amazing, and the guys, well they just looked like dirty kayakers to me.  I think that the ring bearer, was some old woodsman with a Patagonia Polypro on.  Ill bet 5$ is smelled like paddling gear.  

We are on our Sunday now, recovery Sunday I call it.  Feels like being run over by a truck really.  Next stop the Muffin Patch, and back on the river.  

The moose festival isn’t really a festival more than it’s a cult now.  Hundreds of people running the river.  Put in’s lined up for ever, boat companies still sending their teams.  Its pretty amazing really. I know that Lyons falls next going to be taking it over next year.  Whatever the case, Everyone will be here.  Official Festival or not, see everyone next year.     

Graham Ball Hiding from the Paparrazi

Addition.  Ran the Osowagtchie, try spelling that one right.  Sunshine drop was sweet, the run was great and on a section that I had never seen before.  Ran it with the Five2Nine crew.  What a fun bunch of donkeys to ride with.  Thanks boys.  

Billy Harris 

On a Mission  (when am I not?)

Mission: Whambulance alert and Super mans decent.

I feel doubt these days, I am a kayaker through and through but like when I was young, at some point I realized that Super Man could fly, and I can’t.   It’s a tough bit of learning.  I clearly remember my last hope as I launched myself triumphantly off the garage.   My first thought, Oh gawd, my second thought,  “please let the dog walk under me right now”.  Each of us at some point will reach this stage I think, my first was on the ground at the garage door trying to breath and cry all at the same time.  Some people won’t get to this stage, but more than likely they will in my opinion I think.  It seems that the longer it takes for someone to find this place the harder he or she will hit the ground. 

I am lying in bed whining about how much I suck at math to my wife when I realized something.  Ok, so you’re a math moron no doubt.  But whining to your wife makes it way worse.  Then, “what would you have done if this was a kayaking trick”, my wife busts out on me.  I have learned in life that the biggest most painful thing your wife can do, it’s to lay out a piece of your advice, the same one that you dole out to others.  It would be better if she would just come out and say.  “Yo, hypocrite.  Suck it up sally and quit your whining.”  I almost hear myself with the, “but, but, but,” but I decide not to go on. 

I failed at school; a lot, math is just not something I am good at.  My brothers are both brilliant in that area.  My dad is some kind of genius; my mother is as sharp as a tack, and more than willing to use it, when you are being a smart ass to her.  Lucky me, I got the athletic gene.  The problem is the mind is willing but the body is, struggling.  When you go from being the best at something to the worst at something, or in my case a kayaker to math moron, it’s an even harder hill to climb.  So I get presented with a problem I have solved for many others but have not solved for myself.  I call it the, “Try Until Method”.  It goes like this.

Baby learning to walk gets put on his or her little fat feet and off he or she goes to do what, fall.  Baby doesn’t know how to be a douche bag to baby, so silently goes on after a good cry to try again.  Mom is silent about the mater; picking you back up to, try again.  We know this method works.  It’s why so many people walk; and every mother teaches us how to learn how to walk using the same method.  But only when we get older we decide to be a jerk to baby and that’s where this bit of whining starts.  I suck at math, but I will get better.

So time to dust off baby, pocket the thumb sucking, and get back to the business of learning grade 6 math and try again.

BIlly