Mission: Swamp Donkey Festival, wedding, liquid revenge and deer.

MISSION:

Swamp Donkey Festival, wedding, liquid revenge and deer.

Rockin out in the Large Villian.  

It’s Sunday and I am still feeling friday night’s gong show. My thoughts are on a fallen friend right now, who didn’t make it this year.  Benny Aylsworth, he’s not dead to me cause he’s got an excuse.  However it was pretty lame, (helping his dad, what a jerk) and he’s on life support in my books, but he was missed this year…. 

I lean outside to check on the boats as the monsters in the very full room wake up from tucked away locations around the room.  Our room smells like Puke, wet poly-pro and Matt’s noisy butt.  I lean back to see of our boats are still outside, my little red Jackson Rig still there, amazing really.  Cale Reeder filled our room with silly string, so we retaliated by breaking and entering into an open room.   While they were away we did all kinds of evil in their room but nothing too harmful.  We were waiting for the retaliation to the retaliation when we decided to visit last night.  I will never get that particular two hours back but we managed to loose a room phone, the hotel owners are not at all in good humor about.   We got back to the other room and they were coaxing a deer into the next door neighbors room, looking to trap it in there for the night or until she got back and generally doing stupid things.  Last time I saw them they were riding a cooler down a hill and had a standing bet of 1000 dollars to anyone that could get a LEVEL SIX dry top on the deer. I am ashamed to admit it but I actually gave it some serious thought, (my wife was not there)  I personally had one nibbling on my sox, ya, my sox yesterday so doing the deed to the deer would not have been too hard...  Explaining it to my wife would equal divorce, and rightfully so.  They are very tame around here and I have now lost all respect for the deer hunting shows on TV.  The deer down here are stupid, shooting one down here is a piece of cake, heck hunting them in town with a spear and a pair of fussy underwear as camouflage would work.   

On the river was amazing, there was a river wedding at Fowlers-ville Falls, the whole wedding party auto-boofing into pool at the same time wearing comber buns and the sunshine actually came out for the event.  As usual the Bride looked amazing, and the guys, well they just looked like dirty kayakers to me.  I think that the ring bearer, was some old woodsman with a Patagonia Polypro on.  Ill bet 5$ is smelled like paddling gear.  

We are on our Sunday now, recovery Sunday I call it.  Feels like being run over by a truck really.  Next stop the Muffin Patch, and back on the river.  

The moose festival isn’t really a festival more than it’s a cult now.  Hundreds of people running the river.  Put in’s lined up for ever, boat companies still sending their teams.  Its pretty amazing really. I know that Lyons falls next going to be taking it over next year.  Whatever the case, Everyone will be here.  Official Festival or not, see everyone next year.     

Graham Ball Hiding from the Paparrazi

Addition.  Ran the Osowagtchie, try spelling that one right.  Sunshine drop was sweet, the run was great and on a section that I had never seen before.  Ran it with the Five2Nine crew.  What a fun bunch of donkeys to ride with.  Thanks boys.  

Billy Harris 

On a Mission  (when am I not?)

Mission: Whambulance alert and Super mans decent.

I feel doubt these days, I am a kayaker through and through but like when I was young, at some point I realized that Super Man could fly, and I can’t.   It’s a tough bit of learning.  I clearly remember my last hope as I launched myself triumphantly off the garage.   My first thought, Oh gawd, my second thought,  “please let the dog walk under me right now”.  Each of us at some point will reach this stage I think, my first was on the ground at the garage door trying to breath and cry all at the same time.  Some people won’t get to this stage, but more than likely they will in my opinion I think.  It seems that the longer it takes for someone to find this place the harder he or she will hit the ground. 

I am lying in bed whining about how much I suck at math to my wife when I realized something.  Ok, so you’re a math moron no doubt.  But whining to your wife makes it way worse.  Then, “what would you have done if this was a kayaking trick”, my wife busts out on me.  I have learned in life that the biggest most painful thing your wife can do, it’s to lay out a piece of your advice, the same one that you dole out to others.  It would be better if she would just come out and say.  “Yo, hypocrite.  Suck it up sally and quit your whining.”  I almost hear myself with the, “but, but, but,” but I decide not to go on. 

I failed at school; a lot, math is just not something I am good at.  My brothers are both brilliant in that area.  My dad is some kind of genius; my mother is as sharp as a tack, and more than willing to use it, when you are being a smart ass to her.  Lucky me, I got the athletic gene.  The problem is the mind is willing but the body is, struggling.  When you go from being the best at something to the worst at something, or in my case a kayaker to math moron, it’s an even harder hill to climb.  So I get presented with a problem I have solved for many others but have not solved for myself.  I call it the, “Try Until Method”.  It goes like this.

Baby learning to walk gets put on his or her little fat feet and off he or she goes to do what, fall.  Baby doesn’t know how to be a douche bag to baby, so silently goes on after a good cry to try again.  Mom is silent about the mater; picking you back up to, try again.  We know this method works.  It’s why so many people walk; and every mother teaches us how to learn how to walk using the same method.  But only when we get older we decide to be a jerk to baby and that’s where this bit of whining starts.  I suck at math, but I will get better.

So time to dust off baby, pocket the thumb sucking, and get back to the business of learning grade 6 math and try again.

BIlly     

Mission: Locals Only, falling leaves and eviction notice.

Surfing with Jason Craig, about the nicest young guy I know.

ITs late in the season, all the demo boats are starting to come back to the house from gosh only knows.  Kelsey (known by many as The Runt)  moved out of my house back to the western side of Canada.  TIs weird having the house to myself.  Ray Borrato still lives in my attic, the little sister I never wanted taking Kesley's position on Harassment Detail.  I get called Fat boy again by her she's getting an eviction notice.

Filming for Locals Only with Kelsey was a lot of fun.  I am sure he's enjoying clipping stuttering out takes reminicent of kkk,ken Whiting's.  Being a big 12 year old didn't help my plight on that front.  All in all the time with him made me realize really how much I love home.  Nobody but me surfing at Garb and push.   Cool air in the am, falling leaves of red and orange.  Loosing tennis balls in the ground cover, Cursing the dog's inability to keep his eye on the ball.  (dam animal)  It is nice not to have Kelsey and his dam camera pointed at me, but sad to see him go too.

The video itself is a mystery, i have seen bits of it and watched hundreds of hours of kelsy parked at the dining room table working for endless hours.  Never realized how much went into video production.  Finding Music, editing, clipping, cataloguing......  guess thats why I paddle.


Check out the website and see what the video's about and peek at the news section too.
http://www.localsonlymovie.com/

http://www.localsonlymovie.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=6:locals-only-crew-kills-it-at-team-trials&catid=2:news&Itemid=4

ALL Photos BY Emery Tillman (thanks Emery!)




My Friend Emery, took the shots at Lachine, Kelsey and the Uber talented Jason Craig in green.

Big Joe

Kelsey in yellow and my good side in red.

THE PALADA

THE PALADA IS AN EXTENDED ROLL.  PLACING ONE HAND ON THE BLADE OF THE PADDLE THE OTHER HAND IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SHAFT.  SET IT UP ON THE SURFACE OF THE WATER FIRST, THEN ROLL.  PRACTICE THE SET UP HALF A DOZEN TIMES THEN DO THE SAME THING WHILE UNDER THE WATER. 

THE PALADA.

Mission: Snapping the Ivory and breaking the rules

VICIOUS......... 

I grew up getting beat up pretty regularly, school busses playground, hallways....  I sucked at fist fights still not that brilliant. One day I was taught a great lesson by a great man named Pat O'brien.  He had 12 brothers and sisters.  I asked, "Who won the fights around your house Pat".  his reply, ""the guy that got to the shovel first of course".  I was shocked.  "Dude, I said, thats not right.  he laughed,  "there are no rules to fighting", he said.  "Billy", he said, " use that farm boy power and get em on the ground.  Once there BITE THEM IN THE FACE!"  I said, "WHAT!?".  He says to me, "you never want to fight again, put the old ivory to em and bite them in the face."  He was right, it worked like a charm……..    that bite festered for a month, and everyone was horrified that I would break this unwritten rule of fighting…..  

ROLLING IS THE SAME WAY……………….  read on.

Did a clinic on the weekend.  Got to work with two ladies from the dorset area.  One girl who's partner paddles.  Just got a nice e-mail about how I teach, and the change, but something that just keeps coming up again and again needs to be addressed.  

Big Bird and Elmo clowning around.

Rolling is just as much a psychological test as it is a kayaking manover.  Rolling is more about the right approach and anxiety control as the physical move.  People think they are lifting their body out of the water… WRONG.  you are rolling the boat under neigh yourself….  and that explanation is where it starts. 

If your going to teach your friends try these tips to help them on their way.

Control their language about rolling.

Be sure that they are happy and excited and their language ESPECIALLY yours is all positive.  Remind them they are to flip the boat under their butts.  that is it.

Control their experience and use no short cuts.  

Get a dry suit or wet suit and get in the water with them.  Flip them, roll them swim in the water with the kayak.   Even take the time to swim with the paddle and put their head up inside the boat when its upside-down.  Comfort is everything when upside down.

Be consistent. Rolling to some person's rules Don't work.  Teach the roll that you use and be sure you have a couple different ways of teaching it.

USE THE PALADA!!!!!!!!!!!

Teach the roll as you normally would,  (head down, paddle high big sweep at the start hip flick)  is how I do it.  But when frustration and they are close,  teach the Palada.  Make sure that its when they are close.    Make sure that YOU KNOW they can get it, every time….    

RULES!!!!!!

The Rule for the plalada is simple.  Once the right way or standard way and, once the palada.  Its a psychological crutch as much as it is a method to get air….

Anyone who has a beef with this can contact me and tell me why.  I would be happy to crush their argument…

One last thing, GET A DUO and take em for a ride.....

b3harris@gmail.com

Mission: King of CLUBS

MIssion: KING OF CLUBS


Photo's By John Slot of KWP
More Photos at:  http://picasaweb.google.com/mccoy085/KWPRocksAtKingOfClubs2010?feat=email#
WIcked time on the ottawa this year that drew over 160 competitors the the River Run Camp ground this last weekend.  Each year the King of Clubs event draws the clubs together from all over Ontario and pits the paddling skills of each club against each other.  Started by this man Cale Reeder and his wife Steph with the Kawartha Whitewater Paddlers.

Cale 

STEPH

Head TO Head

  Cale a long time ago spent his time on the water rescuing me, a lot has changed since then but not his interest in growing the sport and helping others out.  The two of them with the help of many others put together head to head racing,

Monster Throw

Chained like dogs for Leaving Cales boat in a tree.....

 The event is for beginner Clubs, club members Beginer-mediates, beginners.  What a blast and adding things like Z drag comps, throwbag comps, boat tossing, tug of wars to keep the event a learning as well as a fun filled thing that people wanted to participate in.  It's hard to get people to compete these days.  So competitive is the race an freestyle sport that its hard to really get new people in.  But this weekendm convincing people to enter a relay, or get the throw bag toss lines fired up didn't take long.  No Prizes, No money, just pure Glory.  With some Rivalry tossed into the mix for good measure.  KWP, Bag pipes in all letting The Petawawa River rats, (Military boys) know they aren't the only people with Big Guns....

Causing all Kinds of Grief 

AMAZING TEAM EFFORT

BIlly Harris

Well done to the River Rats for taking this years Big Prize.  (GLORY)

MIssion: 3 bears and a Mohawk and The Canadian Team.

It was Finals and I had won every dam round till the top 5 so I figured I was in a good position to Kick Kelsey Thompsons Scrawny Little Butt.  The Bet was, I would get a mohawk if toll bag dropped the mustash.  The one that hides a knarly scar on his face from his 5th COUNT EM 5th time he smashed up his face.  He's not all that pretty to being with so the Mustash was helping him out and well to make a long story short.  Kelsey got Lucky.  The only time he beat me all comp he did so in finals, wiht the luckiest ride ever.  So I am sporting a mohawk these days........

Carly and I are staying with an old friend Michelle Earls who owns a business called Kananaskis Outfitters in, you guessed it in Kananaskis.  She rents bikes does bike tours and hiking canoeing kayaking you name it she does it and guides it.  So we went in to the shop and she took us out on a bike tour.  Michelle was blasting down a hill, dog and myself in hot pursuit when a YAK sized monster bolted from the trail right in front of us.  We blew by the beast and stopped on a bridge just about 30 yards away.   Massive Grizzly huge hump on its back and a colossal sized face.   Carly came trundling down the path moving like a slug with a heart condition.  By the time she showed we were yelling our heads off at this bear.  He was parked right beside the trail just looking at us, and here comes poky pants McDonald.  (I call her McDonald only when she is going to do something UN-Harris like….) 

We have all seen that movie when the main character of some animal flick is standing there just chewing its cud.  The main character is someone like bambi and right behind it  is this raging monster gaining ground teeth and nails nothing but bad intentions.  Deer just standing there, munching away some dark drumming noise background.  That deer was my wife.  We are yelling, “GO Carly GO, keep peddling keep going.”  Carly stops, puts her foot down and I Crap myself and have a heart attack all at the same time.  I am off my bike at this point doing the funky chicken waving, prancing and flapping like an idiot.  Carly says, “What”?   6 feet away and 6 feet up is a massive Grizzly.  He’s just cocking his head left and right looking at her.  Carly looks and only sees bushes.  But gets the point as I gain flapping momentum.  Carly will tell you she only stopped for a second.  It looked to me like she was stopping for dinner.   Needless to say I am still married.  But we now own Bear Spray and Carly can’t walk to the car without it.   Carly Claims Bears don’t Eat Vegans that’s why it isn’t a problem.. 

Add one grey hair to the patch I got growing on top.

Billy